A slightly irritating, but mostly fascinating article in Times Online on four women that are “still single”.

The irritating bit is in the title already: “still single”. It suggests that there is something wrong with being single, and that those women should look at their miserable lives and reassess why are they STILL single. “Four women look at reasons why they haven’t found the right man”, boasts the sub-headline. Obviously, the reader thinks, women’s goal in life is finding the right man, and those four failed.

But then you read their confessions and they don’t really sound like failures. Gemma, 29, admits that she’s so damn picky she probably won’t find anyone for a while longer (which could be interpreted as “I really, really don’t want a boyfriend but I had to answer this question you know”). Edwina, 39, beauty director at Times, snaps: “Why am I single? Oh, you sound just like my mother.” Then explains she’d kind of like to meet The One, but it’s not a goal that defines her life. If it happens, it happens. Lulu, 38, says she’s “too alpha female” which can make relationships dead difficult indeed — in my experience people (I didn’t say “women”, I said “people”) like that tend to look for someone even stronger than they are; not someone weak and easily crushed, and when you’re an alpha female, most people seem weak and easily crushed in comparison. Thing is, most alpha men tend to be assholes with predilection for women more similar to Megan Fox than Lulu Le Vay; after you’ve spent a day at work being constantly challenged, I imagine, the last thing you want at home is more of the same. Francesca, 30, simply isn’t interested in anything long-term just yet.

One of the commentators sums up things much better than the title and headline of this article do:

“The last time I saw my friend’s married sister she asked ‘are you still desperately looking for a man?’ I managed to ignore the inaccuracy of her question, kept my gob shut and silently focused on her situation.
Her husband has gone bankrupt twice, they’ve lost their house and when they had a house he used to say to her in arguments ‘Your name isn’t on the deeds so if we split up you won’t get the house’. I think I’ll stick with trying to find someone decent and respectful. Being single is definately better than having her taste in men.”

This is exactly my take on the issue, perhaps because despite having been in a relationship for quite a while now I still remember my single days, and I remember them fondly. Whoever authored/edited this feature — well, it’s four women speaking out, but someone must have thought of the title, headline and whole idea — I would like to ask, why is it only women that have to explain why they are single? Do we still live in a world where women are tragic spinsters and men are glamorous bachelors by default? What is it about “still not having found the right man”? Do you ever see men explaining painstakingly why they haven’t found the right woman yet? (Other than closeted gay men, that is.)

I want to see an interview with George Clooney that starts with “Why is he still single: too picky? too independent? too alpha-male? George Clooney explains his failure in finding the right woman”. STET.